Issue #102

Hello Bloom Community! We are excited to share this newsletter with you. This is our weekly ritual of connection for our group as we each continue our own personal journey toward discovering more pleasure, confidence, and nurturing a healthy connection with our bodies.

In this week’s edition I am introducing (some of) you to the late Betty Dodson & the legacy she has created. She was an icon as powerful as Gloria Steinem was/is for the feminist movement.

Betty championed for orgasm equality and believed that sexual equality needed to happen before we could have economic equality with men. She called masturbation “a meditation of self love”.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Laura Bogush who is one of the two leading ladies tasked with carrying on Betty Dodson’s legacy that helps women release the conditioned shame we have been taught about our bodies and instead reconnects women with the healing power of self pleasure (orgasms) in the context of being seen & heard by a small group of women willing to be vulnerable (these workshops are called Bodysex).

You can hear the full episode (kicking off Season 4 of Permission to Be Enchanting Podcast) on your favorite podcast platform or you can connect to my website’s podcast page to listen there (this episode will be released July 18, 2024).

Feature Article

You are never too old to orgasm:

Continuing the Legacy of Betty Dodson with podcast guest Laura Bogush

“The thing that I learned from Betty Dodson, one of many things, is that we can be orgasmic until the day we die. Pleasure for women never ends. That’s counter to what we’re taught as women, that our orgasm is supposed to be difficult or that it’s secret.“

“What is different is that we have to explore our own pleasures. We’re all the experts of our own body. There’s no one magic spot. No one magic technique. We have to explore. It changes throughout our life. “

These were the opening comments by Laura Bogush about Betty Dodson when we recorded the episode. And it just got better from there. Laura told her own vulnerable story of taking her first workshop with Betty when Laura was 57 and Betty was 87!

Laura wanted some of the vitality that Betty had, but Laura’s biggest barrier was the shame she felt about her plus-sized body. Laura has since healed that shame and now, as a trained facilitator, runs Bodysex 2-day workshops to help other women heal their shame.

A few of the main takeaways that I learned from this interview were:

• Masturbation fosters self-love. Giving ourselves our own orgasm connects us to our body. As we release the attachment hormones when we are having sex with a partner (oxytocin), we release those same hormones when we’re having sex with ourselves. 

• Healing shame involves being vulnerable with others in a safe(r) space and realizing that you are not alone in your feelings about your body, your sexual drive (or lack of it), and your sexual body parts.

• Solo sex is important in order to practice, explore, and be curious about what feels good. It helps make partnered sex better. It helps you get to know your body and your turn ons, so you can communicate these to a partner(s).

Taking You Out of Your Comfort Zone

When your body says, “No Thanks”…..

Let’s face it, some of you reading this newsletter have had prior experiences (traumatic sexual or religious) that have eliminated your interest in sensual pleasure and/or masturbation. Even the thought of getting undressed and touching yourself creates a negative reaction or fear in your body…. And yet, there is a part of you that wants to overcome this.

There is a beautiful lyric by the artist Karen Drucker in her song, Gentle with Myself, that says “I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go”. There is no reason to feel pressured to have an orgasm. Instead, I invite you to find other ways to connect lovingly with your body in an open and curious way.

1. One option is to put both hands over your heart (or hug yourself) with your clothes on, and close your eyes (if it feels safe to do so). Take a few long, slow breaths and feel the weight of your hands on your body.

2. Maybe even tell yourself “Hello body, it feels nice/awkward/scary to hold you this way” and “I’m sorry I’ve missed past opportunities to connect with you, but I’m here now and I care about you”.

Give yourself a few moments to really feel this connection and send yourself some loving kindness. It gets easier the more you practice doing it, I promise.

3. A second option is to set a timer for 5-10 minutes, lie down (with some clothes on or just in your underwear) and instead of a self pleasuring session, place one hand on your heart and the palm of your other hand over your pubic bone (with your fingers resting on your vulva). Slowly breathe and feel the weight of your hands on your body.

4. Begin to visualize a gold light streaming down from above flowing into your heart and filling it with unconditional love. As you “feel”/sense that your heart is full, imagine sending this energy down to your vulva. First breathe in the love into your heart and then breathe down the love into your vulva.

5. Continue this visualization until your timer goes off and then scan your body for any reactions or sensations. Whatever sensations (or lack of) that you experience, accept them and give yourself credit for taking this time for yourself. You may want to journal your experience to notice positive changes over time.

Now it’s your turn

Ready to explore some new ways to Self Pleasure?

Relevent Podcast Episodes:

• S3Ep12:Secrets of Female Pleasure with Sheri Winston (resource links for online classes and Sheri’s must have book are located at bottom of the blog, click link below)

• S3Ep11: Orgasmic Activation: The Key to Unlocking Orgasmic Potential with Susan Bratton (resource links for her products are located at bottom of the blog, click link below)

  Empowered Enchantress Past Podcasts & Blogs

• Connect with Laura Bogush:

  Bodysexcleveland.com

• Free Resources from Betty Dodson:

  Betty Dodson’s Bodysex Website

• My favorite brand of vibrators (expensive but quality):

  Lelo.com

  Karen Drucker Song on Spotify:

  Gentle with Myself

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  We would love to hear from you regarding your reactions to this issue, the suggestions or your experiences trying the exercises. Just hit reply, and let me know what you think or how you feel. I’m definitely interested 😀 

  

  From my campsite at Pearl Lake in South Beloit, IL